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The Movie Guy: That Guy…in that thing and Cool as Ice

By   /   June 5, 2013  /   Comments

That Guy…in that thing (On Netflix and available to rent…)

This is a movie about character actors that might seem familiar and the lives that they lead, it isn’t a movie within a movie but rather a real documentary about a few background actors. This is a movie that spends just north of an hour talking to these actors about their lives, careers as well as their trials and tribulations. There isn’t a lot of meat to the story and to be real honest it’s a documentary, but I thought that it was a pretty fascinating look at what it is like to be a working man’s actor, the guy you see in the background behind your Tom Cruise and Robert Deniro, rather than a big named star carrying the show.

If you want to check out something a little different about the inner workings of Hollywood’s character actor crowd, this is the movie for you.

2 stars out of 5, as an interesting diversion but little else.

Cool as Ice (thankfully only on Amazon instant videos or DVD…)

Back in the early 1990s Vanilla Ice was rapping and someone got the idea to put him into movies thinking that his ‘natural charisma and charm’ (Questionable indeed…) would be enough to carry him through the movies that he was cast in. The first movie he was in was ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze’ followed very shortly thereafter by ‘Cool as Ice’. In what could only be called a loosely done remake of a Marlon Brando movie (The ‘Wild One’…) Ice shows off his talents as ‘Johnny Van Owen’, rapper, motorcycle rider and would be ladies man.
They (Hollywood) should have stopped with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2…

Other than Vanilla Ice, this movie has three actors you’ve probably heard of or at least might recognize. The first is the dad from the hit 80s show ‘Family Ties’ as the (big stretch here…) father of the leading female actress. John Haymes Newton, the actor who is the unfortunate bearer of the ‘Drop that zero and get with the hero’ line, is also in the movie he happens to have been Superboy (The college aged Superboy, who at that age I would argue is Superman…) for the first season of ‘The Adventures of Superboy’ before being fired over his portrayal of Clark Kent, a demand of a 20% increase in pay and a DUI conviction! The last of the trio was Naomi Campbell the model.

It seems that Ice is a rapper who drifts around and ends up in a small town where he falls in with a local girl; who as fate would have it happens to be the daughter of a former cop (now in the witness relocation, due to corrupt cops…) who doesn’t trust the young stranger attempting to get into his daughter’s pants. The movie is full of clichés such as daughters rebelling against their fathers with bad boy strangers and using a motorcycle to jump over a car. Naturally the corrupt cops find and kidnap the daughter leaving only Vanilla Ice to play hero; in the end they amble off together into the sunset rapping and riding the motorcycle.

This is a movie best left in the early 90s where it so richly deserves to remain, along with Vanilla Ice’s career although I am fairly certain that someone somewhere will argue with me on that point.

0 Stars out of 5, may God have mercy on your soul for having watched it.

Keith Kilburn and his wife, Dawn, live in Leesburg with two cats and dog named Godzilla. He’s written for Herorealm.com before they were bought out by corporate interests and has written a novel that he’s working on publishing. It’s rumored that he’s seen more movies than Blockbuster rents in a year and knows more about comic books than Stan Lee himself!

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