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Elderly smack down in the produce aisle

By   /   June 12, 2012  /   Comments Off



If you were to force me to pick only one thing I love about the south, it would have to be our fierce loyalty to SEC football teams.

Today was a perfect example of that ferocity.

I’m walking around Publix (something else I would put on a very short list of my favorite things about this here god’s country- “but a grocery store on your favorite things list? How preposterous!” you might say. And I’d say you are wrong because Publix is one of the best grocery stores in the entire world, so shove it.), wearing as I often do, an Alabama t-shirt.

As I crossed the threshold of the produce department, an older woman turns to me and says “Roll Tide.”

Because my mother raised me with manners, and some of them stuck, I of course replied with a “Roll Tide” of my own.

This took place around the cut fruit section. A woman, of an advanced age herself, standing near the apples hears our exchange and within seconds bounds over to us with an energy that belies her years.

“WAR EAGLE”, she exclaimed in a very loud and boisterous manner. “WAR DAMN EAGLE!”

Of course not to be outdone, the original, and frankly, more beautiful and just overall more delightful woman, raises her voice with a hearty “ROLL TIDE ROLL!”

It was then things got a little weird. Here’s the deal- little old southern ladies, they stereotypically have this air about them. That they are just about as proper as can be, not a hair out of place, not an single stray pineapple chunk in their jello mold. So when you see one of those tiny little old southern women gather up all her might and bellow out “ROUND THE BOWL AND DOWN THE HOLE- ROLL TIDE ROLL” it’s a little shocking. Shocking to the point that neither the well dressed, well composed, pulchritudinous woman nor I could formulate a response to her beyond, “We’ve won more championships you know so stick that in the bowl and smoke it.”

And with that statement, the older Alabama fan walked away, ready to thump some watermelons.


Amanda Denton


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