1. Perhaps the “communication skills for women” seminar the hotel I’m staying at is hosting should be renamed to “observation skills for women” or “noticing the previous six big-ass yellow signs that say where this seminar is located for women”.
2. If you pass 10 signs saying that the right lane is closed ahead and you go flying by me (in the right-hand lane), don’t think there is a snowball’s chance in hell that I am letting you in. YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!
3. MrBunny declared this afternoon that if he worked in a city that had traffic like Atlanta, he would need to take a helicopter to work. Future employers take note: no chopper, no worker.
4. The Chick-fil-A cows amuse me way more than they probably should. Cows in general amuse me. I love cows.
5. I just spent $1.80 trying to get the damn 60-cent cookies to fall in the vending machine. And they weren’t even that good. I feel as if the universe just flipped me the bird.
6. I had a dream the other night that I was Don Draper and Ninja had screws in her back leg for some reason. I called the boss lady and told her I couldn’t deliver papers because I had to take Ninja to the vet, because apparently this was not the first time Ninja had somehow gotten screws in her leg. So I start driving until I realize I’m not at home but rather on the road to Dierbergs (St. Louis grocery store chain) by my parents’ house and Ninja was in the side seat chewing on her leg which had a cast on it. When she noticed I was looking at her, she jumped in my face and started licking me and kept hitting me in the face with her cast. Then I went home (my home, not my parents’) and there was a mouse loose in the house. Stacy and Jane from Drop Dead Diva (love that show) were chasing it trying to get it to drink coke as I pulled into the driveway.
Only thing I can think with that dream is a) I watch too much Netflix; b) Ninja is trying to drive me over a cliff even in my dreams; and c) MrBunny is somehow slipping hallucinogenic drugs into my dinner.
7. Pinterest might be the best worst thing ever to come about on the internet. It’s worse than stumbleupon, which I thought was the absolute worst thing forever and ever. I was wrong. Pinterest all the way.
8. The hotel I’m currently at (that robbed me of $1.20) has the heat turned on. Ummm … why? Granted it was in the 60s this morning, but easily 80-plus by the time evening rolled around. This is not heater weather. This is “thank the blessed savior that my perpetual case of swamp ass might have a chance to dry up” weather.
And so concludes tonight’s edition of random thoughts. May your sleep be undisturbed and your ass dry.