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More confesions of a Gator hater

By   /   November 4, 2009  /   Comments

Ah … hate mail from some Gators. Life is good.

Apparently my column last week aggravated a few Florida fans. Below in italic are some excerpts of two love letters followed by my sincere response.

I am writing in response to your disgraceful and disparaging column about Tim Tebow and The University of Florida. If you had a brain you might be able to recognize and appreciate excellence. Since you do not have this capacity, let me educate you.

After Saturday’s 41-17 victory over your precious Bulldogs, Tim Tebow now holds the SEC record for rushing touchdowns. A record formerly held by whom? Funny, but I cannot remember the name of that guy.

And yes the score was 41-17. Did I mention that The University of Florida won? A university that has produced two Nobel laureates, seven ambassadors, nine senators, 44 federal judges, 39 members of the House of Representatives, 18 generals, and seven astronauts. The university has won two national titles with Tim Tebow, and we appear to be on track to win a third. So snipe away ignorant one.

Now that makes me mad! How could we shoot seven astronaut Gators into space and be stupid enough to let them return to Earth? I want to know who made that decision. I am writing NASA right now. That was a missed opportunity!

The writer also left a few people off the list of notable Gators. People like Susan Stanton, former city manager in Largo, Florida and, according to Wikipedia, a transsexual activist. Then there is the original evil one himself, Steve Spurrier.

Since he is now at South Carolina, the visor is bearable, but he will never be likeable. Another fan writes:

How did you enjoy the game? I certainly liked it! I really liked the part where your quarterbacks kept throwing the ball to our defenders. That was such an interesting strategy. Now you have 364 days to swallow your bitter opinion. Maybe you’ll choke on it. I wonder if you hate all the teams that own Georgia. It is getting hard to count them, but so far this year that would be Oklahoma State, LSU, Tennessee and now FLORIDA. Am I missing anyone? Oh yeah … Auburn and Tech by season’s end.

To be honest, Florida is my host hated. Auburn would be second, but I like the Tigers every day except game day. There has never been a day that I liked the Gators, and now I have to hold my nose and pull for Alabama to give the Gators the beat down they deserve since the Tide is the only team between them and the national nausea of another Florida title.

It is easy to dislike the Gators with players like the eye-gouging Brandon Spikes, and a classy coach like Meyer. After all, the brave coach did the unthinkable and suspended his linebacker for … gasp … the entire first half of the Vandy game for his effort to take out the eyes … literally … of one of our running backs. Now that’s class.

Deep down, I know Georgia will eventually be back on top of this rivalry. Their quarterback is graduating, NFL teams are starting to sniff around their coach, and there is always the possibility we will learn to play defense between now and next October. Until then we’ll just have to keep the memory of Lindsey Scott streaking down the sideline playing over and over to wash away the events of Saturday.

“Run Lindsey … Lindsey Scott … Lindsey Scott … I broke my chair.”

I feel better already.

(Column) By Mike Flynn

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  • Published: 1781 days ago on November 4, 2009
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  • Last Modified: November 16, 2009 @ 9:49 pm
  • Filed Under: Mike Flynn
  • Tagged With: football
 

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