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Mike Flynn’s Football Column

By   /   October 28, 2009  /   Comments

Recently, a debate erupted at a football-watching party.

Some argued that despite his school affiliation, they can respect Tim Teabag the player, and person. That is a mature, reasonable stance. It is also hogwash!

Every announcer in the business tries to convince viewers that The Bagger is the greatest player and person to ever slither onto the scene. He is so untouchable that no game official would throw a flag on him even when he reverts to his natural position of male cheerleader and dances all over the field.

“Give me an F … Give me an A … Give me a …,” what have you got? No flag! Amazing. If Georgia catches a cold, they get the death penalty, but this guy gets to lead cheers with no impact?

Then they go on to tell us how he has changed the game. After all, he has tied Herschel Walkers’ record of 52 rushing touchdowns. Please. The Bagger takes a snap and falls forward into the end zone; don’t compare him to or use his name in the same sentence as Herschel ever again!

Walker still holds 11 NCAA records, and he scored 52 times in three years without an extra SEC Championship game on the schedule. He rushed for 5,259 yards and beat Florida three times! The other guy has rushed for 2,415 in four years. Yeah, I know he has thrown for more than 7,000 yards, but Herschel could have done the same. Dooley was just very conservative.

At 47 years old, Walker has been on The Apprentice, a Zaxby’s commercial, and is about to do some cage fighting. Top that!

Remember the SEC media days in August? Steve Spurrier was nearly hanged because he dared to vote for another player as the best quarterback in the conference.

And The Bagger’s coach is an enabler to the media bias. After a two interception performance against Mississippi State, City Muck … I mean Urban Meyer … said he had put his QB is bad situations. What situation? You asked him to complete a pass. He is, after all, the greatest player to ever crawl out of the Swamp, so completing a pass shouldn’t be too much to ask, should it?

Luckily, Georgia had last week off while Florida was getting hit hard in Starkville. In the history of this matchup, the team with an off week prior to “The Party” usually wins. Two weeks of game prep versus one. Rested legs versus having to go to Mississippi and run all night. Restful sleep versus the sound of cow bells in your head.

The season has not been great for Bulldog fans, but a win in Jacksonville would heal some wounds. Ruining Florida’s season and having something to hold over The Bagger for the rest of his life would be priceless. If given the opportunity, our coach should call time out with seconds remaining in the fourth quarter and throw to the end zone even if we are up by 30. Not a likely occurrence this year, but we can dream.

My wife thinks I am just bitter because Florida is on top right now and he doesn’t play for Georgia.

So I tried to be reasonable and analyze the positives. The Bagger does do some good things. He goes on Christian mission trips and volunteers to circumcise young boys. He is a good role model for young men and women. He did manage to play in a crucial game at LSU after getting a bad boo boo. His only real character flaw seems to be that he chose to attend Florida.

Okay, enough of that, I can’t do it anymore. Knock his block off, Rennie Curran! Go Dawgs!

written by Mike Flynn

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  • Published: 2136 days ago on October 28, 2009
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  • Last Modified: November 8, 2009 @ 9:38 am
  • Filed Under: Sports
  • Tagged With: football

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